She was nice, friendly, would do anything for you, and she and my wife became good friends.Ellie and Gil had been there about five months when Ellie called my wife and asked if she could borrow me to fix a ceiling fan. Gil was gone and it was something that she wanted to get fixed right away. I grumbled a bit when my wife asked me to go over and fix the fan, but I went. Don't get me wrong - I liked Ellie, but fixing her fucking husband's fan was not something I really wanted to do. Ellie took me into the family room and showed me the fan. She already had a ten-foot aluminum ladder set up under it and as soon as I saw the fan I knew what the trouble was. She had the same fan that I had in my house and the damn thing had too many electrical components, some of which acted very strangely to power outages. The wall switch was a rheostat that turned the fan on and off and set the three speed at which the fan turned. There were two switches on the fan itself, one that selected forward and. They were there for me. And again, with time, I learned to live with the loss. This, somehow, seems worse. This time, I’m not sure…’ my throat catches, and I can’t speak. I look out at these people, some of them now watching me carefully. Fat nurse wipes at her eyes, and I don’t want to be here. I can’t be here. I have to get out. I do my best to maintain some semblance of self-control, at least enough that I’m able to wave my hand apologetically and step down from the podium with quiet grace. I walk slowly, calmly down the aisle, not running or weeping or even hurrying, and only when I’m outside do I begin to speed up. Across the street from the funeral home is a diner. I go in, take a booth in the corner, and order coffee. Jasmine never shows up, which is good. After a few hours, I pay my tab and leave. The home is closed and my car is the only one left in the lot. I pull my jacket tight against the chilly wind. Goodbye, Grandpa. – I spend most of the rest of the day in my hotel.
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